


Return of [Reason]

by DigiAndromeda



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: Drabble Collection, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-07 01:35:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10349475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DigiAndromeda/pseuds/DigiAndromeda
Summary: The war is over, the machines are gone... and now? [Now] we heal and pick up the peaces of our [Broken] hearts.(Post-game Drabble collection) NEW DRABBLE: Healing and Uncertainty





	1. Tears and Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens after they wake up on the skyscraper?  
> Tears? happiness? pain?
> 
> (this is part 1 of the Drabbles)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place before ‘Love and Hate’ but i finished the other one first so hahahaaa… *Nervous laugh* 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who left a kudo and a comment!! it REALLY made my week!

They were kneeling there on a skyscraper, His head buried in her left shoulder, his hands gripping her upper arms; [2B] could only hold his shoulders to support him up as [9S’s] sobbing turned into wailing.

She had no idea her [Death] would affect him like this… but then again… she should of know… because she had Lost him [Killed him] so many times before, each time [Hurting more] than the last.

There was a sudden lull in his cries as she felt his weight pushing against her and the next thing she knew she was laying on the ground with him [Straddling] her, his arms on her chest, his hands gripping the sides of her face, and his head hovering over just below her chin.

“Why… why did you leave me?!” he shouted.

“9S… I…” 2B clenched her fists for a brief moment before she lifted them up and gently took 9S’s face in her hands. She [Forced] him to look at her and used her thumbs to lift his visor up. His face was scrunched up and his [Blue eyes] filled with tears. “I’m so sorry, Nines… I didn’t want to leave you… but it was too late… the logic virus…” her voice trailed off as 9S’s [Tears] fell onto her face.

“…why didn’t you come to me?” his voice cracked. 2B remained quiet and still for a moment, then she guided his face to hers until their foreheads were [Touching] and they were nose to nose.

“I didn’t want to kill you again… nor did I want you to kill me…”

“…” he didn’t respond. He couldn’t respond, because he understood.

_His [Memories] were back. Memories he thought were gone forever flooded his mind. [Meeting] 2B for the [First time], falling in [Love] with her for the first time, and… being [Killed] by her for the first time. They played rabidly in his mind, Meeting her, falling in love with her, being killed by her [Again and again]._

_For [Four years] they repeated the same pattern, over and over. The only thing that changed was her [Reactions] to killing him. At first it seemed she didn’t care but then she began to [Hesitate]. Her hesitation grew and then he remembered her hands trembling, then her whole body trembled, and finally… her tears._

He didn’t want to understand but he did… with his memories back he could [See] just how much his [Deaths] affected her… and he knew she didn’t want him to [Suffer] the same way… but she failed… he had suffered [Worse].

“but it’s not fair!” He shouted, “You left me… Everyone left me… they all died for nothing…”

“but A2-”

“A2 KILLED YOU!” His grip on her face tightened as he cut her off.

“I asked her to.” 2B didn’t like the look on 9S’s face. It was a side of him she hadn’t seen before. [Absolute hatred].

“…Ngh!” 9S closed his eyes and hide his face from her by moving it to the right and down. Her hands slipped off his face as he moved and She could feel his lips brush past her ear. “That’s not fair…” he [Whimpered], “why her? Why not me?”

“I…” She started, her hands hovering in the air, unsure of were to put them.

“After all those times you’ve killed me… why didn’t you come to me?” 2B felt something [squeeze and harden] inside her. She felt [Fear and dread] wash over her. “Why didn’t you let me kill you?”

“Nines… I… you…” for once, she was at a loss of words. Her hands [Trembled].

“Why, 2B? …why?” he asked again, his voice [Cracking].

“Do… you… hate me, 9S?” she felt her throat tighten as she forced out the words.

“Hate you?” his voice squeaked with [Faint laughter]. “you’re everything to me, 2B. Life is meaningless without you…” the faint laughter turned into a [Small] chocked [Sob].

“Nines…” 2B breathed out, whether because she was [Touched] or in [Relief] she wasn’t sure but…

she brought her arms down onto his back and wrapped him in a [Tight hug]. She heard a small gasp and felt his grip on her face loosen.

“I’m not going anywhere, Nines.” she whispered into his ear. “you’re not alone anymore. You never were…” she placed a hand on the back of his head. “I won’t leave you again…”

“2B… I… I’m…”he stammered but 2B held him [Tighter].

“It’s alright… let’s… stay like this for a little longer.” She could tell something [Happened] after her death. What exactly, she didn’t know but she was sure her [Pod] would tell her.

She looked into the bright [Blue sky] and saw their [Pods] hovering there, watching them. They hadn’t said anything since she and 9S [Woke up] and they explained how they had decided to [Save] the [Three] of them.

“Hm…” she heard 9S hum in agreement. He moved his hands to cradle her head and shifted so he was no longer straddling her but instead lying on top of her.

She let out a slow sigh and rubbed his head. Whatever happened in her [Absence] did a number on 9S. she could tell that he… was [Broken]… not physically but mentally.

What did he [Learn]? What did he [See]? What was it that [Broke] him so much? Was it all [Her fault]?

She wanted to [Know]… She [Needed] to know… but it would have to wait, because right now? [Right now] all she wanted was to [Hold him]. To hold him and [Never let go].

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally i post my fics on Tumblr first but tumblr is doing this weird thing where, even if i only have 3 Tags, the post won't show up in the tag search! T^T


	2. Love and Hate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're thinking about how much you want to KILL 2B, aren't you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, apparently, {that one line of Adams} might mean something else then what everyone [Initially] thought. instead of it being beeped out for [Profanity] it was likely beeped out to hide it’s [True meaning]. So, this was written with this question in mind; “What if the word that was hidden was [Kill]?”

9S watched [2B] as she slept, sitting on a chair on the opposite side of the room. Her visor was on the bedside table and her uniform was folded next to it. She was wearing a black sundress and stockings with matching gloves. 9S had talked her into wearing the outfit when she tripped into a mud puddle.

But now that 2B was asleep, 9S was having a hard time appreciating how nice she looked. He sat in a fetal position, with his chin resting on his knees and looked forlornly at her. His boots, backpack, gloves, socks, and visor had been discarded, tossed to the side of the chair as he shifted through [Recovered] memories.

Memories of all the times he had [Meet] 2B, talked to her, fell in [Love] with her, and… was [Killed] by her. Over and over and over and…over… An…d…

He clutched his head with his right hand and tried to shake the memories away. He did not want to be thinking about this right now… but he couldn’t stop. Over and over and over, his deaths replayed in his head and some form of twisting darkness squeezed at his insides.

He clawed at his chest [at the twisting darkness] as he realized he had been a bit too [Happy] to destroy all those 2B clones. Did he… hate 2B for all those times she was ordered to kill him? Did his subconscious remember while he forgot? Did he even have a [Subconscious]?

“Ahg…” his head hurt. He didn’t want to think about this. He stood up from his chair and walked over to 2B. he kneeled by her bed and leaned against it, his head resting on his right arm. With his left hand he [Hesitantly] cupped her right cheek and ran his thumb along the spot under her eye.

He was worried now, if he could kill her copies so easily [So happily], what about the real 2B then? He knows… [He knows] he’s still healing, still recovering. He has [Panic attacks] when they least expect it, he’ll have moments where an animal will startle him and his first response is to attack it. More than once 2B has walked up behind him and he has swung at her, mind immediately jumping back to the battle with her clones.

He would always miss and She was never angry, always [Patient]. She would hold his hands as the panic attack raged or hold him from behind until he remembered he wasn’t in a battle. Now that she didn’t have to fear the order to kill him she was allowing herself to be more open with him, more [Affectionate].

And he was loving it. [Every touch], every word, he hung onto them, could feel them [Healing] him… but… there were moments like now, where those recovered memories would [Plague] him and he was forced to see… how [Correct] Adam had been.

A part of him had been tired of the war, of being used and ignored. Of being alone. Of being betrayed. A part of him…

9S slowly moved his hand down 2Bs face, only pausing for a moment as his thumb brushed her [Lips], and stopping on her [Neck]. Wrapping his hand as far around her neck as he could, he slowly tightened his grip.

He [Loved] her, yet a part of him had [Hated] her. A part of him he hadn’t remember suffered from her continues betrayal. Every time she killed him, a part of him grew to [Resent her]… but each time he met her, he fell more in [Love] with her. [Love and Hate]. They had twisted inside him, becoming one [Becoming the same] and he was [Afraid] he’d loose it one day and [Attack] her.

He couldn’t remember if he was relieved after the battle because the clones where gone or because he finally…

As he tightened his [Grip] around her neck, the twisting darkness inside him began to [Grow] and [Suffocate] him. It felt like a ton of unbreakable strings were [Tangled] around him and [Chocking] him. He stopped squeezing but didn’t let go.

His grip wasn’t very tight, He doubted it’d even leave a mark but he held it there for a few minutes, gauging how it made him feel. Then, he released her neck and brought his hand back up to her face. He ran his thumb along her nose, cheeks, eyes, and lips.

It was strange. The feel of her skin beneath his hand made the twisting darkness dissipate. He could feel it growing smaller as he ran his hand through her hair.

Taking a deep breath, he stood up and sat on the edge of the bed, his hand tracing circles on her cheeks and nose. He wondered if she’d be angry at him for doing this. Goodness knows how many times she’s bopped him upside the head for misbehaving.

He mused that his self-control wasn’t as strong as it used to be. He always wanted to [Touch her], to [Hold her], to [Kiss her], and he was always finding excuses to do so. If she tripped he’d grab her arm and hold her hand, if he tripped he’d angle himself to grab her shoulders and steady himself. Excuses like that.

Most of the time, she didn’t seem to mind… but there were a few times he let his hands wonder too much and she’d smack him. She never hurt him but she made it clear certain actions were not allowed… but she never seemed angry. In fact, he would catch the slightest [Smile] on her lips, from the corner of his eyes, as she would turn and walk away.

His hand had returned to rest on her check and his eyes fell on her lips. He knew he shouldn’t but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. He used his thumb to trace her lips and part them. He leaned towards her with a single thought in mind…

But…

Taking a deep breath, he leaned his forehead against hers.

[No], He wasn’t going to take advantage of her while she slept. Even though he was fiddling around with her hair and face, he [Was not] about to do anything she [Wouldn’t want] him to do. At least, not without her [Permission]...

Pulling away from her, he was about to make his way back to the chair when something grabbed his hand. Snapping his head around he looked down at his hand and, in mild horror, realized it was [2B] who had grabbed him.

She looked at him with her blue eyes, blue eyes that he couldn’t read.

 _How long has she been awake?!_ His thoughts screamed.

“2-2B! I-” he began to stammer.

“Nines…” she cut him off softly, “Come here.” She let go of his hand, then patted the spot next to her as she shifted onto her side.

Hesitating for a moment, 9S laid down next to 2B. At first, he had laid down on his back but 2B reached over and pulled him onto his left side so that they were face to face.

He didn’t look her in the eyes, he couldn’t. He was [Mortified] at the thought of how long she had probably been awake. He had no idea how to explain himself.

Without warning, 2B’s arms wrapped around him and pulled him close.

“2B!” he squeaked as he felt her body press against his. “What are-”

“Go to sleep.” She cut him off again. “You look tired.” His legs ended up tangled with hers and his right arm was draped over her side, while his left arm was trapped between their bodies.

“…I don’t think I can…” he half mumbled half snarked but still shifted enough to get comfortable. His fingers grazed 2Bs’ back as he nuzzled his face into the spot between her shoulder and neck. “You… aren’t angry?” he asked timidly.

“No.” he felt her hand playing with the hair on the back of his head and her chin resting on top of it.

“…” 9S didn’t know what to think. He wanted to ask her how long she had been awake but… he was afraid to know the answer.

“It’s been a few days since you last rested, it’d be best to get some sleep before we leave tomorrow.” She insisted, which was strange, given the timing… normally she would wait until the Pods instructed him to sleep, to start nagging him but…

“… You’re going to go through my data… aren’t you?” he felt her hand pause for a brief moment before it continued to comb through his hair.

“You are much to smart…” she sighed. “I wanted to see a certain memory from your point of view… but I know you wouldn’t let me.”

“… What memory?”

“A secret. However, you really do need to rest. The pods will be back with A2 soon and will most likely say the same thing.”

“Ugh…” 9S groaned. Ever since they woke up the Pods had been monitoring his mental health constantly and had been very firm in [Their] orders. They had once [Forcibly] shut him down when he refused sleep and maintenance. “Yeah, yeah.” He sighed.

Closing his eyes, he activated rest mood and, in his last minutes of conscious, felt 2B enter his [Memory space].

 _“Before you complain,”_ her voice echoed within his head, “ _Remember what you just did with my lips.”_


	3. Healing and uncertainty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A2 and 2B muse over 9S and come up with an idea to help with his mental healing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first! THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR ALL THE KIND COMMENTS, KUDO AND BOOKMARKS!!! TvT that Ro[R] was so well received makes me beyond happy and i truly appreciate every last one of you!
> 
> secondly, i apologize for the long wait. Real life got uber busy for me and certain responsibilities must take priority, i’m afraid T^T 
> 
> Lastly, this is a bit more upbeat and fluff then the last two. please enjoy!

[9S] stood in the entrance of the room, [Still and silent], not even looking in [A2’s] direction as she and [2B] conversed. Apparently he and 2B had a [Long talk] after they had woken up… and, while it looked like he [Didn’t forgive] A2, it seemed he no longer [Hated] her.

“How is 9S doing?” the older android asked.

“Better. he’s smiling and joking around again but… he’s still not one hundred percent yet… he’ll have relapses… panic attacks…” 2B trailed off.

“I see…” A2 glanced at 9S. “Honestly? I’m not surprised… he was… pretty for gone at the end there. Losing you, losing the others, learning the truth about the humans and YorHa… it was too much…”

“I wish I knew how to better help him…” 2B sighed.

“…” A2 didn’t reply right away. [Eyes] still lock onto 9S, she began to think. Even though there was [No] other choice, she was still partially [Responsible] for 9S’s [Suffering]. She filtered though the copy of [2B’s memories] she still had, when she came upon a certain set.

_“Taking a bath FEELS GOOD!”_

_“When that happens, we should go shopping together!”_

_“Hey, 2B? what do you think that does?”_

“Why not indulge him a little?”

“Indulge?” 2B tilted her head to the side a little as she thought. “Do you mea-”

“Yes, I mean exactly what I said.” A2 huffed in annoyance and jabbed her finger into 2B’s chest [Above where a human heart would be]. “You don’t have to shoot him down anymore. Take him exploring. Let him pamper you. Hell, there’s a natural hot spring near here, take him there for a bath or… something.”

“That’s…” 2B [Hesitated].

“That’s what you want to do as well, right? So do it!” A2 placed her left hand on her hip. “look, the best way to help him, is by doing things together. Things you both like. Just...” A2 hesitated as she [Remembered] her [Final fight] against [9S]. “Just… be with him, 2B. YOU are the only one who can heal him.”

“A2…”

“I’m sorry 2B.” the older android sighed. “I wasn’t able to keep my promise… but,” she looked up with a [Determined] look, “I will make sure to this time around. So, go. Have fun and just be with him.”

“Thank you, A2.” 2B smiled. YorHa might be [Gone] but they weren’t [Alone]. A2 returned her smile, with a smaller more tired one.

   *   *   *

9S blinked in surprise at the steamy water in front of him. He recognized this place from an earlier reconnaissance mission. It was a natural [Hot spring] the humans had built an inn around. The wooden building had long since fallen apart and been reclaimed by nature. A giant tree grew where the middle of the building used to be, with its branches acting as a make shift roof for what little walls remained.

However, the boulders around the hot Spring looked like they’d been [Replayed] and the wooden wall in the middle of the water was definitely [New].

A loud *Thunk* drew his attention to the broken washing area. 2B had just set down a couple of steel barrels, and meet 9S’s [Confused] look. She gave him a small smile and walked over to him. Taking his left hand in her right one, she led him into the ruined building.

Broken mirrors lined the walls of the small room, with baskets lined up neatly underneath them. [Two baskets] had a set of [Towels] and [Wash clothes] neatly folded in them.

“You like to take baths, right?” 2B stated more then asked. “I thought… we could take one together.” She avoided eye contact, slightly [Embarrassed] by what she had just said. “You’re always talking about how nice they feel and that got me curious. Of course, you’ll be on one side of the wall and me on the other…but…” she trailed off when she didn’t [Hear] a reply and turned to face 9S.

He was looking at her with wide eyes that were beginning to fill with [Tears] and she couldn’t quite name the [Expression] on his face. His eyebrows were scrunched together at such an angle she thought he might be [Sad] but then his mouth seemed to be twitching upwards into a [Smile].

It was a bit [Disconcerting].

“Nines, wha-” She was cut off as he leaned his head onto her shoulder and let out a small, almost [Desperate laugh].

“Nines?” She asked. “What’s wrong?” she laid her hands on his shoulders, keeping him steady.

“…” He reach up and gripped her arms. “I don’t know…” He answered honestly. “I’m happy…but…” he trailed off.

“But?” 2B gently insisted.

“I’m… Scared?” his hands [Trembled]. “I don’t know…”

“…” She felt the wetness from his tears soaking into her shoulder and [Wrapped] her arms around [Him]. All she could do was [Hold him]. She spent so much time telling him to [Repress] his [Emotions] and trying to [Suppress] her own… she honestly had no idea what to do or say.

She bit her bottom lip. Once again, the [Pods] were being quiet. They had taken to letting her, 9S, and A2 figure things out for themselves, only stepping in when they thought was [Appropriate].

She looked at them from the corner of her eyes, wondering what they thought about the scene in front of [Them]. They were more [Aware], more [Independent] now and she wasn’t quite sure what to think of that, but they made it apparent that their concern was [Their] androids [Health and safety].

But she wished they would help…  especially Pod 153…

9S wrapped his arms around 2B’s waist, interrupting her thoughts, and began taking deep breaths. She felt his trembling subside and his body [Relax]. They remained this way for a while until 9S [Slowly] dislodged himself from her arms and pulled back.

“I’m sorry…” he mumbled, eyes downcast. “I… Don’t know what happened…”

2B tilted her head to the right a little, Looking him over. His arms remained on her hips, while her own were on his shoulders.

“It’s fine.” She comforted. “Everything is okay.” She smiled as she lifted her hands up and [Cupped] his face with them.

His eyes widened as she used her thumbs to rub his [Cheeks].

Then, without warning she pinched them and [Pulled].

“OW!” 9S grabbed her hands and tried to pry them off. “Why?!” she wasn’t pulling hard but it looked incredibly uncomfortable.

“Smile,” she let out a small laugh, “You look better when you smile!”

“Ib can’mf!” He tried to say but couldn’t. 2B pulled his cheeks back, making him look like he was [Somewhat smiling]. “ToooBeee!”

“I want you to smile.” She released his cheeks and let him pull her hands down. She did the best to hide the [Sadness] in her voice.

“It’s hard to smile when you’re pulling like that.” He stated, slightly annoyed.

“I’m sorry,” She gave a small smile, “I couldn’t resist.” It was the [Truth]. He looked so sad that, in order to [Snap] him out of it, she did the first thing that came to mind.

“Geeze.” He grumbled.

“Do you feel up to taking a bath?” she asked.

9S blinked as he rubbed his cheek. A look of [Realization] crossed his face for a moment before he looked at the baskets.

“…” he gave a small smile. “yeah…” He looked at her, then grinned as he grabbed her hand. “But only if we go in together.”

2B promptly smacked him upside his head.

“Ow!”

   *   *   *

**~[OmAkE] Theater~**

9S leaned against the [Wooden wall], the water coming up to his collar bone. His head was a little [Sore] but the hot spring felt amazing.

He let out a sigh as he pulled his knees up to his chest and leaned his chin on them.

“Taking baths really is the greatest.” He sighed contently.

He heard the [Sound] of falling water, then the sound of a stool being scooched around, indicating that 2B had finished bathing was about to get in the hot spring.

9S chuckled a little as he thought about how [Thorough] 2B was being about hot spring [Etiquette]. He heard the water in the steel barrels splashing about as 2B moved them and then the soft patter of her [Feet] as she approached the hot spring.

But he didn’t hear her get in.

“2B, is everything okay?” he asked.

“…Yes. Everything’s fine.” Came the somewhat curt reply fallowed by the sound of her [Moving into the water].

She let out a small [Gasp] and 9S felt, and saw, the waters ripples splashing against his body as she moved about. A [Thunk] came from the wood behind him.

“2B?” He asked. “Are you there?”

“Of course I am.” She replied.

“What do you think?”

“Hm…” she hummed. “You’re right. It _does_ feel good.”

“Right?” 9S giggled.

“Nines, there should be a gap under the wooden wall. Can you place your hand there?”

“…yeah?” a very confused expression blossomed on 9S’s face as he did as instructed. In order for his hand to actually go [Under], he had to turn it so that his fingers were pointing behind him. “Okay, my ha-”

He was cut off as he felt [2B’s hand] fall on his, then he jumped a little as she slipped her fingers between own.

“2-2B?” He stammered.

“Yes?” she hummed as the [Tips of her fingers] settled on the back of his hand.

He was going to ask what was going on but…

“Thank you…” he gave a small smile.

“You’re welcome.” She gave his hand a small squeeze and they remained that way for quite a while.

The soothing warm [Water], the sounds of [Nature] all around them, a soft [Breeze], the shade of the [Giant tree], and the feel of the others [Hand].

[Everything] was as it should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really hope this came out okay… unlike the others, which were written in 1 or 2 sittings, this was written in about 4 or so, despite that fact it’s short… T^T Also, the next drabble is about halfway written already ;)
> 
> in case anyone's interested in why this took so long, here's what happened. Last week my Grandpa Turned 100 years old!! a good majority of the family got together to celebrate and i stayed with him for a week :D  
> I'm also three quarters from graduation and am beginning to put my portfolio together. this take high priority, since my future is kinda at stake.  
> Lastly, I'm working at the renaissance faire on the weekends. i'm working the Faire almost all day due to carpooling agreements. (I'm not getting paid since it's volunteer work but the work experience will definitely benefit me.)
> 
> ... @.@ i have never been this busy before... welp wish me luck!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Deserving of [Life]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10366353) by [AxiomAutomata](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AxiomAutomata/pseuds/AxiomAutomata)




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